My computer died over a week ago, and then a couple days after that the other one in my house collapsed as well, so I have been enduring a bit of a tech melt down these past few days. But, right now I am typing on a laptop that was handed over by some IC tech dude free of charge. It’s not 100% mine yet—some files need to be removed given this is used—then it will be all mine. :) I have definitely been living under a rock because this is the first time I will be having a laptop and using one on a regular basis, and let me tell you: it’s a pretty sweet deal to be under the covers of my beddie bye & typing online at the same time. it’s the little things, kids. I need to transfer my music, writings and pictures over here and then everything will be set. I haven’t had a new computer system since 2002/2003 so excuse my rant; I’m just super excited!! lol
Anyway, school is rounding up to a close with only a couple weeks left. In May I’ll be part of a sketch comedy show, and then I still have my stand-up performance at Gotham to look forward to. I really am trying to boost up my GPA; really was aiming for straight A’s. I have a feeling I at least will be receiving 4 A’s and 1 B (took 5 courses) but if i could get that 4.0, I would be doing backflips in the school parking lot. I have dropped out of school twice and I have learned my lesson by doing so. Never in a previous time have I been more motivated to make sure my grades are on point than now. My heart was not in school and I didn’t truly get the value of learning. Now…there’s so much I want to explore and learn—I am completely hungry for success. I want to do and be so much in such a tiny, alloted time, and the only thing that stands as a limitation now is the time, the need for sleep and any unconfidence that may still be lingering in my head. I registered for fall 2011 already, and will be taking 6 courses, but I also plan on auditioning for a play, as well as joining the student film association and student public relation association because I know those will teach me how to use the proper software for the internships that I’m looking for, and add a bunch of other zings to my resume that will make me stand out.
As noted above, it is quite obvious the internship hunt has been going pretty shitty. I send out new applications nearly every day at this point. It pisses me off that I was literally on the edge of gaining one, especially ones at very prestigous places, and it was taken from me. I’m not going to give up though, nor will I forget about it because I know in order to get a decent job in social media, public relations, film production, or a talent agency, i need experience & thats the only place to grab some without previously having any.
Things with my boyfriend are as perfect as can be, and Im very lucky I am dating someone I have such a strong connection with. Our humor is literally the same (which is rare for me) our music tastes are the same, our tastes in nearly EVERYTHING are the same…he’s sweet…he tells me to sleep while he makes breakfast…he’s adventurous…he gets along really well with my family & friends…he gives me sporatic kisses and massages…i could go on and on. our relationship is the best its ever been, and its almost like im dating a completely different person this time around. I just feel so fortunate and blessed <3 ill shut the fuck up now
I am thinking of deleting this tumblr & creating a new one. there’s just something about this one that no longer suits me. i like the name fuckexpectations, but… it just doesnt seem relevant at the time being. i want to start fresh, & just start over. my new tumblr would probably be a lot more boring & mundane. if i decide to make a new tumblr, the world will know. & no one from here will follow me bc no one reads this. <3